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do you know any good jokes or riddles lol?

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    do you know any good jokes or riddles lol?

    why cant a blonde dial 911? she cant find the eleven lmao 🤣🤣🤣

    #2
    A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."

    The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'"

    The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper."

    The father looked at him and said, "Okay, whisper in my ear."



    Cheers, Gerry
    "A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open." Frank Zappa
    It's my railroad and I'll do what I want! Historically accurate attitude of US Railroad Barons.
    Forever, ridin' drag in railroad knowledge.
    Audi, Vide, Tace, Si Vis Vivere In Pace

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      #3
      A man went to the doctor and told him that his pants didn't fit. The doctor weighed him, but he hadn't gained a pound. The doctor said, "You must have Furniture Disease. "That's when your chest starts sliding down into your drawers.""
      Cheers, Gerry
      "A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open." Frank Zappa
      It's my railroad and I'll do what I want! Historically accurate attitude of US Railroad Barons.
      Forever, ridin' drag in railroad knowledge.
      Audi, Vide, Tace, Si Vis Vivere In Pace

      Comment


        #4
        A man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and asked where he was going at this time of night. He said, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse. The officer said, "Really?.... who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" He said, "My wife."
        Cheers, Gerry
        "A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open." Frank Zappa
        It's my railroad and I'll do what I want! Historically accurate attitude of US Railroad Barons.
        Forever, ridin' drag in railroad knowledge.
        Audi, Vide, Tace, Si Vis Vivere In Pace

        Comment


          #5
          that a good one Gerry

          Comment


            #6
            So a dog went into a bar and said, "Hey, look at me, a talking dog. How about a drink for a talking dog?" The bartender said, "Sure. The toilet's down the hall, first door to the right.
            Cheers, Gerry
            "A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open." Frank Zappa
            It's my railroad and I'll do what I want! Historically accurate attitude of US Railroad Barons.
            Forever, ridin' drag in railroad knowledge.
            Audi, Vide, Tace, Si Vis Vivere In Pace

            Comment


              #7
              Two economists were sitting at a nudist colony. The one said, "Have you read Marx?" The other says, "It's these wicker chairs."
              Cheers, Gerry
              "A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open." Frank Zappa
              It's my railroad and I'll do what I want! Historically accurate attitude of US Railroad Barons.
              Forever, ridin' drag in railroad knowledge.
              Audi, Vide, Tace, Si Vis Vivere In Pace

              Comment


                #8
                Dunno about a joke....but this is an hilarious sketch from 1997.
                The rare Venezualan Jungle Parrot.

                IBM XT i386; 512Kb RAM; 5.25" FDD; 1.4Mb FDD; 5Mb HDD; VGA 256-colour graphics card; AdLib soundcard; DR DOS 6.0; Windows 3.0

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                  #9
                  Okay, so these three guys go walking into a bar.
                  You'd think the third guy would have seen it...!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by R. Steele View Post
                    A man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and asked where he was going at this time of night. He said, "I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse. The officer said, "Really?.... who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" He said, "My wife."
                    Very good!
                    Thanks.
                    Regards.
                    Mateus

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                      #11
                      A man is drinking in a pub and gets a bit tipsy, "You've had enough" Said the Landlord, "Time for you to go home".

                      "Yes, but I need a wee first, where's your loo?"

                      "Over there. But I've had the toilet decorated, so you watch yourself".

                      The drunk nodded as he slid off the stool, "I'll be careful (hic)".

                      So he stumbles throught the door on his third attempt and goes up to the urinal. He sees a sign saying WET PAINT.

                      So he did.
                      http://www.unrv.com/forum/blog/31-caldrails-blog/

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                        #12
                        "A guy or girl were having a party, but they never KNEW they were having a party" Kevin Bridges looks back at the nineties or, as he calls it, the good old d...


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                          #13
                          " My wife left me recently. She's a tennis player. Love means nothing to her..."
                          Regards,

                          Nick

                          ( ' boffin0_reprised ' on TikTok )




                          Cyberpower Desktop with AMD Ryzen 5 CPU. 16GB RAM. ATI AMD Radeon RX6700 12GB graphics. Windows 11 Home 64bit. RailDriver. Partridge in a pear tree....​

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                            #14
                            A Bookman Old font walked in to a bar. The bartender looked up and said "Sorry, we don't serve your type here."

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I wrote this one for my mom several years ago (she likes clean(ish) jokes)...

                              ***************

                              An old husband and wife are driving up to the mountains for holiday. After several hours, the man says to his wife, "Pull over, hon! I need to find a tree!". After the wife stops, the man jumps out and runs off into the woods to relieve himself.


                              Some minutes later, the man returns to find the car empty, but then notices his wife coming from across the road, and the man thought his wife needed to go also...

                              Back in the car, the man says jokingly, "Whew! I had to go so badly, my dentures were floating!", to which his wife replies, "Sorry, dear? My hearing aide has a short!"
                              Cheers!

                              Melanie - 3DTrains

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